Thelma from Zambia

One of my favorite guests so far was a woman named Thelma, from Zambia. She was EIGHTY years old, yet still very “with it.” She spoke with a very interesting/hilarious accent, that can only be described as old, English colonial. I made a point to sit next to her at meals, asking her questions about her life. She told me about her days living on a houseboat on the Zambezi River- this was about 5 years ago, and she was with a fifty year old woman whom she described as a “total wimp.” She also had an irrational hatred towards the entire nation of Spain- telling me how the Spaniards were a “cruel, cruel nation.” James innocently mentioned how he wanted to watch the bullfights, to which she said “Oh no James! You musn’t! The bullfighting is horrendous! Spain is a terrible place!” She then described how the matadors bleed the bulls and make them week before the fights, so it isn’t even fair. She said that the only thing she enjoys about the bulls is when they storm the streets and occasionally kill people. “Good for them, good for the bulls…the Spaniards are a cruel, cruel people” It was funny. At another point in the meal, she mentioned that she speaks Africaans- the language most widely spoken in South Africa, which is a based off of Dutch. It’s a very strange hybrid language, that I think sounds bizarre. Anyway, so Jackie, who is Dutch, asks “Do you speak Dutch as well?” Thelma replies, “No, but I once read a book in Dutch.” Of course, I find this very odd that she can read a book in a language she deosn’t actually speak. “What was it about, Thelma?” I inquire. “Oh, darling, I can’t remember-oh! Prostitution.” I laugh, not being able to help myself.

Finally, as Thelma is leaving, she gives me a kiss on each cheek, and says, “Goodbye Christine.” She then turns to Mared, clearly can’t remember her name, and says, “Goodbye, little Welsh girl…”  It was the icing on the cake, the end of a great visit with Thelma.